Hello! I’m Laura and I’m bossy.

The problem was that try as I might, I couldn’t change.  Eventually I learned that this is who I am.  This is how I’m hard wired.  This is how God made me.  My DISC style is DC.  That means that I’m task oriented, direct, focused, and I make things happen.  I take risks but usually after research and careful consideration. 

One day, I decided that it wasn’t me, it’s that word “bossy” and all it conjures up inside me.

Interestingly, many of the people who have called me bossy are women.  Once, I was a new CEO for a nonprofit and I was at a workshop with the board chairperson, also a woman.  I made the comment to her that we should do whatever it was the speaker was suggesting (this organization needed a lot of help).  Her response to me was that I was a lot bossier than my predecessor, also a woman.   I was shocked!  What did she say?  Did she really just call me bossy?  I’m the CEO for cryin’ out loud!  I’m supposed to be bossy!

So, I’m bossy.  I guess I just need to try harder. To be what?  Nicer? Sweeter? Kinder? Gentler?  What?!  Someone please tell me how I’m supposed to be! 

I was exhausted.

One day I was talking with my coach (get yourself one of those by the way) and she suggested that I write a new definition of “bossy”.  Great idea!

Because I’m a “C”, I ask a lot of questions so I researched the word.  Did you know it also refers to a cow?  Yep, bossy is another word for a female cow.  Flattering, huh?  Other definitions include domineering. 

No wonder I felt so bad when people called me bossy.

I also found that many successful women have been called bossy.  Tina Fey’s autobiography is titled “Bossypants”.  Beyoncé says, “I’m not bossy, I am the boss.” I’ll bet Hillary Clinton has been called bossy a few times and what about Oprah?  Amy Poehler, Madeline Albright, Condoleezza Rice, Michelle Obama, Sheryl Sandberg, Queen Elizabeth?  I think I’m in pretty good company.

So, I decided to embrace my “bossy” and change the definition:

Bossy means that I am confident and knowledgeable.  I take charge and get things done.  I have great leadership skills.  I know what needs to be done and I don’t mess around.  I’m straight forward and to the point in my communication, and yes, sometimes I tell people what to do when they don’t know themselves.  

I am bossy and I’m proud of it.  When people say I’m bossy, I say thank you – they’ve paid me a great compliment and they don’t even know it.

If you’re a bossy woman, change the definition for yourself — write your own or use mine, I’m happy to share.


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